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HomeJokesSitemapVideos25 Fun Pool Activities22-01-2008 | 12:01:00 | No Comments1) Stand on top of the high board and say you won’t come down until your demands are met. 2) Tell the lifeguards that they aren’t doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people kind of almost drown today. 3) Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. 4) Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys. 5) Take a flutter board and pretend you can’t swim. 6) Hit strangers with your flutter board. 7) Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you. 8) Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, “Oh yeah.. oooh that feels soooo good..” 9) Sit on the top of the water slide and don’t move. 10) Swim near someone and go “Shoot! I knew I shouldn’t have had so much lemonade before I came here.” 11) Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. 12) Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say “HA HA, fooled you!” 13) Scream as someone is jumping off of a diving board. 14) Laugh at fat people in swimsuits. 15) Tell people you saw the lifeguard peeing in the pool. 16) Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed. 17) Try to negotiate the price of getting in. 18) Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off. 19) When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount. 20) Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say “Wheee! I’m Batman!” while running around. 21) Hit strangers with your wet towel. 22) Throw people’s things into the pool. 23) Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grand-finale. 24) Play Marco-Polo by yourself. 25) Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.Tags: MiscellaneousA Prayer Before Dying22-01-2008 | 09:01:00 | No CommentsWhen I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car.Tags: MiscellaneousBooks for College22-01-2008 | 06:01:00 | No CommentsA Polish student was in his the college campus bookstore. Questioning the store clerk about a book for one of his classes, the clerk responded, “This book will do half the job for you.” “Good,” the Polack replied, “I’ll take two.”Tags: MiscellaneousAlmost Perfect Life22-01-2008 | 03:01:00 | No CommentsAn old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. The old man says, “I’m a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob).” The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?&