Search:ICOLINMenuSearch:Amputee angst13. September 2013 · Write a comment · Categories: UncategorizedGroping grannies Three old ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tilly are sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flasher approaches from across the park. The flasher comes up to the ladies, stands right in front of them, opens his trench coat and exposes himself. Gertrude immediately has a stroke. Then Maude also has a stroke. But Tilly, being older and feebler than the other two, can’t reach that far.MARY-ANN, VIA E-MAILConfused cowboy The sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a cowboy with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and boots. He immediately arrests him on a charge of indecent exposure. He soon has the felon in the cells, but feels the need to ask why the cowboy was devoid of clothes.“Well, it’s like this, Sheriff,” says the cowboy. “I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asked me to go out to her motor home with her, so I did. We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, so I did. Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants, so I did. Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts, so I did. Then she got on the bed and looked at me kind of funny and said, ‘Go to town, cowboy,’ so I did.”GARY, VIA E-MAIL Randy reindeersWhat do female reindeer do when Rudolph and co head off with Santa?
They go into town and blow a few bucks.
RYAN THOMAS, VIA E-MAIL
Hard sell
A vacuum cleaner salesman knocks at an old lady’s front door. He starts his spiel about how wonderful the vacuum cleaner is, to which the old dear replies firmly: “No, thank you.”
Not wanting to be rejected, however, he stuffs his foot in the door and carries on with his blurb. At this point he tells her how powerful the cleaner is and that if it can’t clean up the two bags of horse shit he is spreading on her hall floor, he’ll eat it all up himself.
“I hope you’re hungry, then,” she replies. “We’ve just had the electricity cut off.”
NU, HOVE
Work of art
At an exhibition one day, a husband and wife come across a painting of three black men on a bench and are confused as to why the middle one has a white. A man with no arms and no legs is out lying on the beach one day, enjoying his chance to get some sun. All of a sudden, a beautiful woman walks by and stops. “You poor man,” she says. “I bet you’ve never been kissed, have you?”
The man has to admit, no, he never has, so she penis. They stand there staring at it until the gallery curator comes up and gives his opinion.
“I believe this painting represents the oppression of African American males in a predominantly Caucasian society,” he states.
The couple are still perplexed, however, so they are delighted when the bends down and plants a go