Home Who's On FirstMeet UNIXOther Skits Big Noses Hu's On FirstLearn HebrewMeet Windows New DogThis Web Site is of Unknown Origin WE have taken control of your PC, DON'T press ENTER DON'T press Control+Alt+DeleteWE WILL return control of your PC  AFTER you have read the following MESSAGES..."Abbott and Costello Talk Computers"Remember the old "Who's on first"? Well, here's Bud and Lou in the 21st Century Abbott: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?Costello: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den, and I'm thinking about buying a computer.Abbott: Mac?Costello: No, the name's LouAbbott: Your computer?Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.Abbott: Mac?Costello: I told you, my name's Lou.Abbott: What about Windows?Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?Abbott: Do you want a computer with Windows?Costello: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?Abbott: Wallpaper.Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.Abbott: Software for Windows?Costello: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?Abbott: Office.Costello: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?Abbott: I just did.Costello: You just did what?Abbott: Recommend something.Costello: You recommended something?Abbott: Yes.Costello: For my office?
Abbott: Yes
Costello: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbott: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!
Abbott: I recommend Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office and it has windows! OK, lets 
just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. 
What do I need?
Abbott: Word.
Costello: what word?
Abbott: Word in Office.
Costello: the only word in office is office.
Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: which word in office for windows?
Abbott: the Word you get when you click the blue W
Costello: I'm going to click your blue if you don't start with some 
straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
Abbott: yes, you want Real One.
Costello: maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. what I watch is none 
of your business. just tell me what I need!
Abbott: Real One.
Costello: if its a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. 
Can I watch them?
Abbott: of course.
Costello: great, with what?
Abbott: Real One.
Costello; OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What 
do I do?
Abbott: you click the blue 1
Costello: I click the blue one what?
Abbott: the blue 1.
Costello: is that different from the blue w?
Abbott: the blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
Costello: what word?
Abbott: the Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: but there's three words in office for windows!
Abbott: no, just one. but its the most popular word in the world.
Costello: it is?
Abbott: yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other words left. 
It pretty much wiped out all the other words out there.
Costello: and that word is real one?
Abbott: Real One has not